How to drive in Phoenix

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name. It is 'FEE-NICKS'.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon until 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is to match the highway number. Anything less is considered a 'wuss'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone, NEVER; this offense is another that will get you shot, seriously!

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. The relocating of detour barrels during the middle of the night is for your entertainment pleasure, to make the next day's drive more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway, and the 'I-10' are the same road. SR-202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and Olive is the same street, too. Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same street.

I-17 also called The Black Canyon Freeway, as well as, The Veterans Memorial Highway, and if all that is not enough to remember, SR-51 has recently been renamed Piestewa Freeway because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy pronounce.

SR-101 is also the Pima FWY, except west of I-17, which is also The Black Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY, west of I-17, it is known as the Agua Fria FWY. Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd., but Cactus Rd. does not become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead-ends at a mountain.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally activated.

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, considered a road hazard, you will be 'flipped off' accordingly. If you return the flip as a gesture of courtesy, you will be shot.

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.

Otherwise,

Be Safe,

Reach

Aunt Karen

Hello All,

Here is a joke for the day....

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment, “Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it”.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying, broke, and made a mess.

"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers also however we raise chickens for the meat market”. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched, we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they are hatched”.

“That was a fine story Sarah,” said the teacher. Michael, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. She was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun, and a machete. She drank the whisky on the way down so it would not break! Aunt Karen landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then, she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. Finally she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

Michael said, "Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking".

Best Buy = Worst Policy

Hello all,

The following is a repost, word for word, from another blog and while I do not have a vast reader base, I would like to do my part in getting this message out.

Thank you,

Reach

Do you shop at Best Buy? I do/have. I may be rethinking that practice. I just got the following in an email, and I thought it is something everyone should know. I'm emailing it to non-blog friends, too. This is stunning!

~ ~ ~ ~


After reading this and looking up all the info, I will now read selling disclosures a little closer

BEST BUY, MY FOOT


Best Buy has some bad policies....

Normally, I would not share this with others, however, since this could happen to you or your friends , I decided to share it. If you purchase something from, Wal-Mart, Sam's Club, JC Penny, Sears etc. and you return the item with the receipt they will give you your money back if you paid cash, or credit your account if paid by plastic.

Well, I purchased a GPS for my car, a Tom Tom XL.S from 'Best Buy'. They have a policy that it must be returned within 14 days for a refund!

So after 4 days I returned it in the original box with all the items in the box, with paper work and cords all wrapped in the plastic. Just as I received it, including the receipt.

I explained to the lady at the return desk I did not like the way it could not find store names. The lady at the refund desk said, there is a 15% restoc k fee, for items returned. I said no one told me that. I said how much would that be. She said it goes by the price of the item. It will be $45.00 Dollars for you. I said, all your going to do is walk over and place it back on the shelf then charge me $45.00 of my money for restocking? She said that's the store policy. I said if more people were aware of it they would not buy anything here! If I bought a $2000.00 computer or TV and returned it I would be charged $300.00 dollars restock fee? She said yes, 15%.

I said OK, just give me my money minus the restock fee.

She said, since the item is over $200.00 dollars, she can't give me my money back!!!

Corporate has to and they will mail you a check in 7 to ten days.!! I said 'WHAT?!'

It's my money!! I paid in cash! I want to buy a different brand..Now I have to wait 7 to 10 days. She said well, our policy is on the back of your receipt.

I said, do you read the front or back of your receipt? She s aid well, the front! I said so do I, I want to talk to the Manager!.

So the manager comes over, I explained everything to him, and he said, well, sir they should of told you about the policy when you got the item. I said, No one, has ever told me about the check refund or restock fee, whenever I bought items from computers to TVs from Best Buy. The only thing they ever discussed was the worthless extended warranty program. He said Well, I can give you corporate phone number.

I called corporate. The guy said, well, I'm not supposed to do this but I can give you a 45.00 dollar gift card and you can use it at Best Buy. I told him if I bought something and returned it, you would charge me a restock fee on the item and then send me a check for the remaining 3 dollars. You can keep your gift card, I'm never shopping in Best Buy ever again, and if I would of been smart, I would of charged the whole thing on my credit card! Then I would of canceled the transaction.

I would of gotten all my money back including your stupid fees! He didn't say a word!

I informed him that I was going to e-mail my friends and give them a heads up on this stores policy, as they don't tell you about all the little caveats.

So please pass this on. It may save your friends from having a bad experience of shopping at Best Buy

It's true! read it for yourself!! Best Buys return policy

The proof is in the pudding

The Pondering Pump, Part I

Hello All,

I recieved an email and wanted to share the following.

SOMETHING AMERICANS SHOULD PONDER AS THEY PUMP GAS IN THEIR AUTOMOBILES AND DRIVE DOWN THE ROADWAYS...........................


Dubai in 1990


The same street in 2003


2006


Dubai is said to currently have 15-25% of all the world's cranes.


The Dubai Waterfront, when completed will become the largest waterfront development in the world .


All of this built in the last 5 years, including that island that looks like a palm tree.


The Palm Islands in Dubai utilized new Dutch dredging technology to create these massive man made islands. These are the largest artificial islands in the world and can be seen from space.


Upon completion, the resort will have 2,000 villas, 40 luxury hotels, shopping centers, movie theaters, and many other facilities. Expected to support a population of approximately 500,000 people and advertised as being visible from the moon.


The World Islands are 300 artificially created islands in the shape of the world, where each island will have an estimated cost of $25-30 million.


The Burj al-Arab hotel in Dubai is considered the only '7 star' hotel and the most luxurious hotel in the world, as it stands on an artificial island in the sea.


Hydropolis, the world's first 'modern' underwater hotel, built entirely in Germany, then assembled in Dubai, has a scheduled completion by 2009 after many delays.


The Burj Dubai; construction began in 2005 and is expected to be complete by 2008. At an estimated height of over 800 meters, it will easily be world's tallest building when finished- It will be almost 40 percent taller than the current tallest building, the Yaipei 101.

The Pondering Pump, Part II

This is what downtown Dubai will look like around 2008-2009, with more than 140 stories of the Burj Dubai having completion. It is already the world’s tallest man made structure and scheduled completion still not for at least another year.



The Al Burj, will be the centerpiece of the Dubai Waterfront, once completed will take over the title of the tallest structure in the world from the Burj Dubai.


Recently it was announced that the final height of this tower is set at 1200 meters, making it more than 30 percent taller than the Burj Dubai and three times as tall as the Empire State Building.


The Burj al Alam, or The World Tower, upon completion will rank as the world's highest hotel and expected to be finished by 2009. At 480 meters, it will only be 28 meters shorter than the Taipei 101.


The Palm Jumeirah, the Trump International Hotel & Tower is the centerpiece to one of the palm islands.


Dubailand will be twice the size as the currently the largest amusement park collection in the world, Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, which is also the largest single-site employer in the United states with 58,000 employees.




Dubailand, built on 3 billion square feet (107 square miles) at an estimated $20 billion price tag, is purported to include 45 mega projects and 200 hundred other smaller projects.


Dubai Sports City is a huge collection of sports arenas located in Dubailand.


Currently, the Walt Disney World Resort is the #1 tourist destination in the world. Once fully completed, Dubailand will take over the title of #1 with expectations of daily visitors reaching 200,000.


The Dubai Marina is an entirely man made development that will contain over 200 High-Rise buildings when finished. It will be home to some of the tallest residential structures in the world. The completed first phase of the project shown, as most of the other high rise buildings will be finished by 2009-2010.


The Dubai Mall will be the largest shopping mall in the world with over 9 million square feet of shopping, occupying approximately 1000 stores, and completed sometime in 2008.


Ski Dubai, already open, is the largest indoor skiing facility in the world; this is a rendered image of another future indoor skiing facility is being planned.


Some of the tallest buildings in the world, such as Ocean Heights and the Princess Tower, which will be the largest residential building in the world at over a 100 stories, will line the Dubai Marina. The UAE Spaceport would be the first spa seaport in the world if construction ever gets under way.

Additionally, The Dubai Metro system, once completed, will become the largest fully automated rail system in the world. The Dubai World Central International Airport will become the largest airport in size when it is completed, and will eventually become the busiest airdrome in the world, based on passenger volume. Finally, there are more construction workers in Dubai than there are actual citizens.

The Pondering Pump, Part III

THE PREVIOUS GIVES AN INCENTIVE TOWARD FUEL CONSERVATION, DOESN'T IT????
Gas rationing in the 80's worked even though we grumbled about it. It might even be good for us, as some OPEC members are boycotting American goods. Should we return the favor?

Consider the economic condition of our country with increasing food and housing prices, the result of fuel costs. Americans are finding tough times in just remaining in their homes, yet other countries are greatly profiting from our misfortunes. Yet, organizations continually, and systematically, are doing everything in their power to further a recession and break down our country- all for profit! Furthermore, we continue to be controlled.

I say, "Let's take back the control."

Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of these middle eastern companies. This alliance does not have the control, they want the world to think. Just buy gasoline from companies that do not import their oil from OPEC. After all, who is setting the international market prices?

Information is available from the Department of Energy and each gas company is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing per year. Yet, to have an impact, we literally need to reach millions of gasoline consumers, which is simple. Begin with yourself, your family, and friends in researching local gas stations/corporations for non-OPEC oil. If you write a blog, please include one post toward this movement. Only together do we have the voice.

Be Safe,

Reach

10 LOVE/HATE COMPANIES

Hello All,

Today I read 10 COMPANIES WE LOVE TO HATE and thought of my stories to share. While the web site allows for comments, I decided my blog would better serve for future reading.

During my days of playing airline pilot, the other crewmembers and I often discussed the best Cellular Phone Provider. Finally, we concluded, “each has its strengths and weaknesses.” “Problems”, you say. Let me share one little story with you; it is a tale of Cingular and their customer service.

My girlfriend and I purchased a joint account with Cingular so we could communicate regardless of my location. Out on my bid-line, our route brought us to Cincinnati, Ohio and I had no bars. Curious, I thought, considering the coverage area on my plan was “Nation Wide”. I knew something was wrong when we landed in Dayton, Ohio and the same thing happened there. When I finally checked into my hotel room, I called the local Cingular dealer for a better understanding. They informed me that I would have to take this up with my local carrier; thus, meaning when I returned home. I found that answer reasonable. And, I did exactly as instructed upon my return home.

My local carrier said, “We have contracts with local carriers across the country and first we should verify which provider services that area”. OK, on my next bid-line I will find this information. In my hotel rooms, I read the inside cover of the local phone books to find Cincinnati Bell is the primary provider for Ohio. I brought this information back to my local provider with the hopes of resolution. With my girlfriend on an extension to the house phone, the following is condensed version of the conversation after establishing the prior communications with the Cingular Customer Service representatives.

Me, “my cell phone is not working in Cincinnati and Dayton”.
Rep, “What is the local provider for Cincinnati and Dayton”?
Me, “Cincinnati Bell”.
Rep, “We do not have a contract with Cincinnati Bell, I apologize”.
Me, “Let me understand this- you are saying that Cingular, the cell phone provider who is the reunion of the original Bell Systems, does not have a contract with Cincinnati Bell”?
Rep, “Yes”.
Me, “Does this make sense to you”?
Rep, “Well, Sir, let me see if I can assist you. Please, what exactly is the problem”?
Me, “My cell phone is not working in Cincinnati, Dayton- Oh shoot, it is not working in Ohio”.
Rep, “And, what state is that in”?

(Silence)

Me, “Are you kidding me”?
Rep, “Sir, first I must establish the state”.
Me, “Can I speak with somebody else? Maybe a supervisor?”
Rep, “One second please”.
Supervisor, “How may I help you”?
(I explained the previous conversation)
Supervisor, “I don’t understand, we need to know the State”.

(Crickets)


Me, as I was thinking (what state is Ohio in?), I said, “Never mind” and hung up.

I am currently using Sprint International Plan, because I have found more coverage, world wide, with the least problems.

Please share your problems.....and,

Be Safe,

Reach

Steam Ship Historicism

Hello All,

For 10 Dollars the paddlewheel steamship will take a person anywhere along the river. The year was 1859 and composer Daniel Emmett wrote and published a popular song of the time. “Dixie” specifically referred to a privately issued ten-dollar currency from banks in Louisiana and mainly distributed through gambling, trade, and transportation on the wide area portage of southern river steamers. The United States government set in motion the issuance of the Greenbacks, a legal tender currency not exchangeable for gold. The speculative person understood the probabilities of an eventual gold redemption, for the Greenbacks, greatly depended on the Union Army and political developments. My United States History Professor clearly stated, “This is, only one of the contributing factors to the Civil War.”

On this Memorial Day, I wanted to write of the first Memorial Day in the United States and this is where my quest brought me.

The divisions became quite evident during the 1860 presidential election and the electorate split four ways. The Southern Democrats approved slavery, while the Republicans denounced it. The Northern Democrats required the ‘people’ to decide on the issue, and, the Constitutional Union Party proclaimed the continued existence of our Union is at stake. Thus our nation experienced the deadliest war in American history, causing 620,000 soldier deaths and an undetermined number of civilian casualties. Upon its conclusion, it ended slavery in the United States and restored the Union by settling the issues of southern state nullifications.

The site was a historic racetrack in Charleston, a former Confederate prison camp as well as an impetuous cemetery for Union soldiers who died in captivity. The freed slaves reinterred the dead Union soldiers from a mass grave to individual graves, fenced in the burial grounds, and constructed an arched entry announcing the Union graveyard- a very daring thing to do in the South shortly after the North's victory. On 30 May 1868 the freed slaves returned to the graveyard with flowers picked from the countryside and decorated the individual gravesites, thereby creating the very 1st Decoration Day. A parade with thousands of people, including freed slaves and Union soldiers, followed with patriotic singing and a picnic.

Memorial Day is a United States Federal holiday observed on the last Monday of May. Formerly known as Decoration Day, it commemorates United States men and women who perished while in military service to their country. First enacted to honor Union soldiers of the American Civil War, it expanded after World War I to include casualties of any war or military action.

I hope you had a safe holiday,

Reach

When Voices Matter, The Revisit….

Hello All,

On February 8, 2006, I wrote the following: “Voicing an opinion is a tricky thing. As we enjoy our freedom of speech, we certainly do not wish to insult other people for their beliefs. I think this is called ‘respect’! In that thought, it is good to listen to another person’s beliefs, as; it can sometimes allow us to reevaluate our own epitome of beliefs.

With this in mind, I thought my next topic placed out there for the world to read should be Global Warming. Here are some current progressions for this comparison.

2008-05-21: As scientific evidence accumulates on the destructive impact of carbon-dioxide emissions, a handful of lawyers are beginning to bring suits against the major contributors to climate change. Will the legal strategy that brought down Big Tobacco work against Big Oil? In their attempts, lawsuits in California, Mississippi, and New York have been dismissed by judges who say a ruling would require them to balance the perils of greenhouse gases against the benefits of fossil fuels—something best handled by legislatures. Enter the Senate Hearings on Capitol Hill; where, “Top executives of the five largest oil companies tried to shift anger over high prices to a debate over supplies Wednesday, leading a senator (Patrick Leahy, D-Vt.), to accuse them of acting like ‘hapless victims’ while racking up record profits.” And, the response, “I urge you to resist these punitive policies,” said John Hofmeister, president of Shell Oil Co.

Who will take the blame? Are fossil fuels to blame for Global Warming, soaring fuel and food prices? I am here to tell you this is not the case! True, I have uncovered evidence we are placing blame in the wrong areas. We need to direct our thoughts in a more “healthy” direction.

GENEVA - Obesity contributes to global warming, too. Yes, you heard it here first! While other Blogs are quick to blame high costs on Al Gore and the Alliance, a London based School disagrees. “Obese and overweight people require more fuel to transport them and the food they eat, and the problem will worsen as the population literally swells in size, a team at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine says,” reported by REUTERS updated 9:15 a.m. PT, Fri., May 16, 2008.

I have arrived to a conclusion: I will sacrifice one Big Mac per week and donate the money to the Alliance. At 180 pounds, this person is doing his share for the environment. However, they will not be receiving my money from the IN & OUT funds. No, I refuse to live with out my “Double Doubles” and “4X4’s”, “Animal Style” of course. As for the readers in any state, other than California, too bad you do not know the joys of a good IN & OUT burger. I am writing this post to prove a point; anybody can twist and manipulate statistics, or, I love IN & OUT. IN & OUT, the only fast food restaurant, which offers more items off the menu, than on- join the Secret Society today.

Be Safe,

Reach

Reviving History

Hello All,

During my injuries of 2003, I had an opportunity for submitting a package to receive the Purple Heart Decoration. Having studied the histories and requirements of several decorations, I knew that my injuries truly did not warrant this prestigious award. Once again, the opportunity may be on my doorstep for another submission. Defense Secretary Gates is presently vying Congress to change the decoration’s requirements to include PTSD. First, we should examine the history of this medal.

21 September 1780, Major John Andre, under the name of "John Anderson", conducted the disloyal negotiations with General Benedict Arnold for the surrender of West Point in the woods near Stony Point and took breakfast with him in the house of the unknowing Joshua Smith. On leaving, Arnold gave “Anderson” six papers containing full information as to the state of the defenses at West Point. Three young patriotic Americans, John Paulding, David Williams, and Isaac Van Wart later encountered Andre (who mistakenly identified himself as a British Officer) and searched his person, only to find the treasonable documents in his stockings and arrested him. Tried and convicted of High Treason, Major Andre was executed in October 1780. The Congress recognized these young Americans by presenting each with $200 and a silver medal worn around the neck, The Andre Medal- the United States first Award presented by Congress.

Unfortunately, the regulation and citation accompanying the award was written for a specific act; thereby, eliminating any future presentations. President George Washington recognized the need for a Badge of Military Merit and designed what we recognize today as the Purple Heart. Again, only given to three Revolutionary War soldiers and not realizing the importance of wording the regulation and it held no statement regarding duplication. Public admiration of the award led to numerous commercial uses, such as, clothing designers placing small “purple hearts” on their products. Thus began the foundation of the Congressional Medal of Honor and proper verbiage in the regulation and citations.

The Purple Heart is the oldest symbol and award still given to members of the United States military. In addition, the actual order still includes President Washington’s original phrase, "Let it be known that he who wears the military order of the purple heart has given of his blood in the defense of his homeland and shall forever be revered by his fellow countrymen”.

I have found I do not stand alone in my regard to this award. Should Congress change the requirements, they will be acting against the original integrity intended of this award. If this was a lesson, cool; if not, then there are my two cents on this issue. Furthermore, I would like to leave this with a quote, “An, that’s all I got to say 'bout that”. - Forrest Gump

Be Safe,

Reach