Here is a joke for the day....
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment, “Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it”.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying, broke, and made a mess.
"What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers also however we raise chickens for the meat market”. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched, we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they are hatched”.
“That was a fine story Sarah,” said the teacher. Michael, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. She was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun, and a machete. She drank the whisky on the way down so it would not break! Aunt Karen landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then, she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. Finally she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
Michael said, "Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking".