Not what I inteded........
Hello All,
Today we shall see another part of me-
Why does “Tough Love” hurt me so much? For the first time, my attitude was forceful and tough with my son. Even though, I wish him to gain any and everything he ever desires; I must learn “NOT” to enable his currently misguided path to destruction.
He is still a Teen, at nineteen, and learning all of the joys life can bring. With thanks to his loving and enabling father: He pays no bills; He lives alone in a beautiful home, overlooking the valleys to the beaches; He can view out the back door for his surf report; He drives a nice Acura; He is well spoken and mannered in general company. He works two jobs, and who knows where his money is spent? I have offered to him free tuition for college. We compromised and he promised an attendance to the local JC, and then later reneged without notice.
He wanted to fly in the Air Force; therefore, he made the appointments and taken the tests. I can not explain the happiness I felt, when he made a decision to progress his life- as only a parent can. His hopes and dreams were high, and so was his smile. The kid lives like a king and I am taking that away from him.
His test scores were not as high as his desires. He can still join, but now the desire has transformed and he must work toward a goal. With that, we have received his resignation in the words, “Well, I am not going to join, if they do not give me what I want.” Today, I “put my foot down”. The “Cash-Cow” is out of milk. With a pain in my heart, and a dehydrated tit, I am curious to his next move.
Reaching the pain
Today we shall see another part of me-
Why does “Tough Love” hurt me so much? For the first time, my attitude was forceful and tough with my son. Even though, I wish him to gain any and everything he ever desires; I must learn “NOT” to enable his currently misguided path to destruction.
He is still a Teen, at nineteen, and learning all of the joys life can bring. With thanks to his loving and enabling father: He pays no bills; He lives alone in a beautiful home, overlooking the valleys to the beaches; He can view out the back door for his surf report; He drives a nice Acura; He is well spoken and mannered in general company. He works two jobs, and who knows where his money is spent? I have offered to him free tuition for college. We compromised and he promised an attendance to the local JC, and then later reneged without notice.
He wanted to fly in the Air Force; therefore, he made the appointments and taken the tests. I can not explain the happiness I felt, when he made a decision to progress his life- as only a parent can. His hopes and dreams were high, and so was his smile. The kid lives like a king and I am taking that away from him.
His test scores were not as high as his desires. He can still join, but now the desire has transformed and he must work toward a goal. With that, we have received his resignation in the words, “Well, I am not going to join, if they do not give me what I want.” Today, I “put my foot down”. The “Cash-Cow” is out of milk. With a pain in my heart, and a dehydrated tit, I am curious to his next move.
Reaching the pain
posted by Reach | 3:10 PM
5 Comments:
Tough Love is sometimes the most needed thing you can give. If my parents had done it with my twin the first, or second, or third, etc., time he needed it, maybe he wouldn't be in rehab for the gazillionth time.
Sometimes you just gotta give that nudge. I think my parents made a good balance between helping me out, and letting me make mistakes and figure it out on my own.
Melissa, I truly understand where you are coming from, as the same applies with some of my relatives.
T.H., in my eyes, you are speaking of the perfection in Parenthood. Learning this balance, I think, is the most difficult.
Reach
Been there. You're correct on this one.
Been there too. Tough love isn't called tough for nothing. It's tough, but the rewards, which may take awhile to ralize, are worth it.
Good luck and be well Reach.
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