If I were a,

The following is intended for mature audiences.
Warning, Adult humor!
Warning, No humor!
Shit, I give up.

From the fantasy pages of: “If I were a Reporter, in today’s standards of searching for distribution, my insignificant news would be”. In a true Dan Blocker illusionary disclaimer, none of the succeeding is true.

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Advil is called Ibuprofen and Amoxil is called Amoxicillin.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for the drug, Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxichillin.
Also considered were Mycoxafloppin, Mydixadrupin, Dixafix, and of course, Nobewond Nobepokin.
Phizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by a major Cola manufacturer (to be determined) as a power beverage suitable for use as a churn. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour and have himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a “soft drink,” and it gives a new meaning to the names of certain “Cocktails”, “Highballs”, and just a good old-fashioned “Stiff drink.” One company is considering entering this market with their new beverage and will market the new concoction by the name of “Mount an Do.” It appears they will be able to utilize the commercials of a similarly in named product.



Editor’s note: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky breasts and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.